Old Hippie

We all make choices regularly and most of the time we barely give them so much as a second thought. This is typically alright because most of our daily decisions do not carry life-altering consequences attached to them. But this simple fact does not mean you should make decisions lightly. Each and every choice does have a consequence and the more often you make a good choice as opposed to a bad choice, the better you will become at making good choices. It's simple practice.

I used to be very bad at making decisions. My common response to questions concerning "What should we do now?" or "What do you want to eat" or something along those lines was always "I don't care. Whatever you want." I've gotten more decisive as I've grown older but still I do not hesitate to use the "I don't care" line today, if I truly do not care. Doesn't matter to me, I'm easy. Easy as a Sunday morning. Commodores.

I think part of my problem at making decisions stemmed from my ability to see several sides of the same argument. I can understand points of view on both sides of an issue and I need a lot of facts to come down on one side or the other. It has taken me many years to learn enough about enough things to be able to hold intelligent conversations and actually take a stand based on my core beliefs. I guess it has really taken me a lifetime to decide what my core beliefs are in the first place.

So by this stage of my life I've become a lot more opinionated than I have ever been before. And my opinions always favor personal choice and responsibility above all other factors. A part of my core belief system that remains constant is the belief that I can manage my own life better than anyone else can. I want to make my own decisions and accept whatever consequences occur as a result of my decision. If I choose badly, I take the blame and attempt to correct the bad choice and not make a similar mistake at a later time. If I choose wisely, I reap the benefits and allow myself a pat on the back to boot. I am in control of myself and destiny has no place in my life.

How often have we heard the mantra, "It's not my fault." Usually it really is your fault. Oh, not every single time. There are extenuating circumstances that are beyond our control, but mainly we are where we are and who we are because of the series of choices we have made throughout the course of our life. Life's been good to me so far, Joe Walsh. Things do not happen to people in a vacuum. There is such a thing as bad luck, but it is highly over-rated. Getting your car repossessed because you have been consistently late with the payments does not qualfy as bad luck. It qualifies as bad decision-making.

My mother used to tell me that everything always works out for the best in the end. I tend to believe this to be true although just what is the end where these things are worked out best can be difficult to see. Does something happen because it is meant to be? Do we meet our eventual spouse because we are destined to be together? I can't really subscribe to this philosophy because I believe in complete free will. If something is meant to happen, it seems to me that free will must be suspended or, at the very least, bent to ensure that the required outcome does indeed happen as it is supposed to happen. This means that we cannot influence that event to result in a different outcome because the outcome is already determined. I can't go along with that train of thought.

I believe we each have choices to make every day and these compounding choices somewhat dictate the course of later events but at each stage we can select a different choice and, therefore, change the outcome accordingly. I don't believe that anything is "meant to happen". Perhaps if I could step outside of time and look at the fourth dimension as a whole, seeing all points of time at the same time, I could agree with the concept of an event that was meant to be. But releasing myself from time is not something I am able to do, so I must view events from my spot on the time-line and from here I see nothing as destined to be. All things are possible and many things can change a result.

The fact that I believe all things are possible does not mean that all things are equally possible. There are probablities surrounding all possible events and good, sound decision-making has to take those probabilities into account to have any real meaning. It's like horse racing. There are odds on the probable outcomes of certain choices, some are more likely to be successful than others but the possibilities are nearly limitless. Obviously your personal chances of success are increased if your choice is aligned with the more probable outcome. Consistently choose the poor odds and you will be consistently disappointed.

I don't have a real hard point to make with this discussion. I am simply trying to explain that choices are everywhere and are a part of everyone's lives. And that there are consequences, both intended and unintended, that occur as a result of each choice. If we can be more open to the list of choices and the odds of each choice and the possible results of certains choices, then we can be better prepared to make more intelligent, rational decisions that do not cause us, or someone else, harm, and in fact, does us and maybe others around us, some good.

I will sum this all up by saying, choose wisely and stand by your decisions. To borrow a carpenter's phrase, "Measure twice, cut once." An informed decision can lead to wonderful things. A choice made in haste can lead you into hell.

OH